Hi there! Thanks for stumbling onto my corner of the internet.
Does the internet have corners or is it round?
My name is Meghan. I’m thirty years old, female, and recently divorced. I live in an apartment with two hopelessly spoiled dogs. I’m a grammar purist, shoe enthusiast, and relentless optimist.
I like long walks on the beach and boring cliches.
I also live with an invisible chronic illness, lupus. I work hard to stay healthy by monitoring my fatigue level frequently throughout the day, exercising, eating healthy, and getting lots of sleep. When my disease is under control, managing a chronic illness takes about as much time as working a part-time job. When it’s not under control, I get “promoted” to full-time.
I’ve been sick for eight years, during which time I’ve learned a lot about managing my illness. Learning about my disease and how to take care of myself has helped me stay healthy, but sometimes my disease still sneaks up on me out of nowhere. I’ve survived two severe brain flares, called cerebritis, since my diagnosis.
When I first got sick at age 22, I didn’t want to talk about lupus to anyone. I worried about what my classmates and teachers would think of me, and I was afraid of being misunderstood. Not looking sick made my fatigue look like laziness, my explanations seem like excuses, and my forgetfulness and “brain fog” look like ditziness.
Lupus? That’s not MY lupus!
I’ve since learned that life with an invisible illness is a road you can’t walk alone. Hiding my illness protected me from judgement, but it also isolated me from the love and encouragement I needed to get through the tough times.
As I’ve opened up to friends and family about my disease, I’ve had a few epiphanies:
- While living with a chronic illness is an experience not everyone has, the sense of being different that I sometimes feel because of it is an emotion that has been felt by everyone everywhere.
- Not enough awareness of invisible illness exists. This will continue to be true as long as people like me choose to not speak up and share our experiences.
On my blog, you’ll find reviews of products for sick people and reviews of books about chronic illness. You’ll find advice on managing fatigue and joint pain. You’ll hear stories from my life, like the first time I was glared at for parking in the handicap spot or that time I went to the ER and demanded hamburgers from a nurse. You’ll read about my struggles and setbacks, and hopefully learn from them.
If you’re a healthy person reading this blog, I hope you can gain some insight into what it’s like to feel sick but look fine. My life is different than yours, and I hope my blog can be a window into a different way to be in the world. I hope you sometimes see yourself in these pages, because even if you’re not sick, I’m willing to bet we still have a lot in common. Sick or healthy, we are all still people, and what is similar about us is greater than what is different.
If you are sick and reading this blog, my greatest wish is for you to know that you’re not alone.